Month: June 2019

5 Ways To Protect The Peace In Your Home

Communicate with your spouse.

Being able to talk to your partner is important, but it’s equally important that you are able to understand each. I believe your spouse should be your primary confidant. Things should be kept between the two of you. Your spouse does not want to go to you, knowing that what you tell them will be discussed with someone else. Or find out about something important concerning you or the family from someone else. If you have trouble communicating, consider counseling. When your lives get busy, make time to have open and honest talks with each other.

Be in agreement with your spouse about money decisions and parenting.

Parenting is a joint venture in a marriage. Your kids should know that their mom and dad back each other up in decision making concerning household rules and beliefs. Sure, mom and dad may have different ideas about different things. But those things should be discussed privately. Your children should not be able to go to one parent and get a certain answer then go to the other and get what they want. This causes strife because it is disrespectful to your spouse when you tell your child one thing and they can get something totally different from the other parent.

Follow God together.

Make time for Bible study and discussion. Open your Bible together and spend time in the word of God. When one of you gets a word from the Lord that could benefit the other, share it! Let the Lord speak into your life as a couple. Read devotions together that target what needs to be worked on in your marriage and family. Pray together. Pray for your family needs and submit to each other in the presence of the Lord.

Have a schedule for the kids.

Your kids should be comfortable in their own home, but there needs to be a routine for them so that they have boundaries and know what’s expected of them. Have certain times for them to do their chores, shower and eat, do school work and other tasks. When they’re younger it’s probably easier, but when they get into their teenage years and start to have their own lives, they’ll want to go out, have friends over and do their own thing. Which is fine. They are developing into young adults. But it needs to be clear that the house is to be respected.

Have family time.

Have a daily, weekly or monthly sit down time for the family to discuss any family issues. Be open and honest. Discuss solutions to issues that come up. Let there be an open discussion between mom, dad and the kids. Everyone should be able to discuss anything concerning the house and family with no judgment or anger. Let family discussion be a place to come together and discuss things of concern and how to change them.

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Why Do Some Kids Accept The Gospel Early?

Ultimately, we all make our own choices. No matter what each of us is taught, we end up making our own decisions in life. That being said, as a parent and as a Christ follower, I know that I have a duty to lead my children to Christ. More than them finding happiness and following their hearts’s desire, my duty is to lead them into the arms of Jesus. To lead them into everlasting life. I believe that from an early age, they need to know that this world is temporary and that the Lord’s plan for their life is more important than what the world has to offer; Things that don’t last. The popular teaching is for parents to tell their kids they can be whatever they want, to follow their hearts and to be happy. I’m not against my kids being happy, but I believe that there’s a way to be happy without going against what the Lord wants for your life.

Growing up, all I learned was rules. Things you’re not allowed to do, and what God doesn’t like. I didn’t learn the love of God. I didn’t learn God’s plan for my life. I didn’t learn the grace of God. I used to wish I had learned the Lord earlier, and yeah it would’ve saved me a lot of heart ache and problems but I think I gave my life to the Lord at just the right time. I was pregnant with my first child. First of all, I don’t believe you can really teach someone the Gospel of Jesus Christ and expect them to listen without showing them by example. So I intend to keep growing and maturing in Christ to show my kids what a life of Holiness looks like and that living for God is the best way.

Secondly: Yes the Bible teaches that God has standards of holiness. But these shouldn’t be taught without grace and love. You can’t uphold the whole law of God. And why would you want to without knowing Him and how much He loves you? Before Jesus came on the scene to bring the Kingdom of God to earth and fulfill the law with His love, people were trying to uphold 613 laws and always failed. Because they didn’t have the Holy Spirit and most of all, they didn’t have Jesus’ sacrifice to cover them and make them righteous. The greatest revelations I ever had were that Jesus loves me, that there’s nothing I can do to earn that love, that He has a plan for my life and that He paid the price that I don’t have to pay for sins that I committed so that I don’t have to go to hell. If they can just grasp THAT. The power of the cross and what it means! But it needs to be taught from young. In ways they understand.

Keeping an open line of communication between you and your kids is so important. For many reasons, but teaching them the Gospel is one of them. They need to be able to ask questions. And as a parent, I need to be able to know how to answer these questions. As adults, we don’t know everything. And we are always learning. Kids need to know that! That mommy and daddy don’t know everything, but that when we read our Bibles, pray and seek God, we learn. Have Bible study time with them. Let them hear you pray to the Father. Your raw, open heart prayers. I believe that will show them what it’s like to have a relationship with our creator. Let them know that everything we have comes from Him.

More on prayer: From early on, prayer needs to be a regular, normal part of a child’s life. Praying with them, praying over them. With my son who is six, I have started to just listen to him pray to see how he prays. Then later, I’ll give him examples of things to pray for. I notice that he always gives thanks to the Lord for the people in his life. So I’ve started to tell him that he can pray for the people in his life by asking God to protect them and give them what they need. His prayers are from the heart, but he needs to be led into how to pray for others as well.

I don’t know if there is a perfect way to lead your kids to Christ. It needs to be tailored to your family situation, your kids’ individual needs and such. But there is a way that is right. The foundation is Jesus. He is the way. Every family is different. But God is the same no matter where you go. The Bible, how to live to get to heaven and Jesus’ love don’t change.

The Bible says, ”

“Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
AND
” The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that wins souls is wise.” – Proverbs 11:30
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Big Dreams Or Crazy?

Until recent years, I’ve always had low expectations of myself. In an earlier post, I spoke of the low self esteem I had. At times, I’d get ideas of what I wanted to do for my future. Vet school was one of them. I spoke to a career counselor once about it. He was encouraging. But I think I immediately gave up on that idea. I didn’t believe that I could do it. I don’t want to go deep into why I had low self esteem. You know, my whole background and everything. I wanted to write this because I know my determination to be successful and make a future for myself and my family. I remember a particular counselor I had in my 20’s. She was helping me through some issues and I felt like I was getting somewhere. I confided in her about a goal I had and told her I wanted to be a singer. She told me I had “grandiose ideas.” I had never heard the term but I knew what she was talking about when she said it. She was telling me that I had high hopes for something that was never going to happen. Someplace she didn’t see me going. I felt shot down. I mean, this woman had never heard me sing and didn’t know my talent. All she knew of me was my faults. I’m not sure why she said this to me.

So how do people who literally start from nothing; With problems and little to go on BUT their dreams, achieve their goals? Not everyone has a huge support system. Some people have no support system at all and are still successful. I believe to do anything great, you have to think great. I don’t think you’re going to overcome obstacles and achieve big goals by thinking below where you want to go. Different factors play into why some people are successful and reach their goals and some don’t. Genetics, physical location, family and friends, education, health. But I think, above all it depends on your desire, your will, your determination. There are too many successful people, past and present who were told they were crazy for thinking the way they thought. World changers. People who have made big moves.

Currently, for myself: I have too many people relying on me not to make the best life possible for them. 3 babies… And my dear husband. I want to build a family legacy. Yes, spiritual and support wise. But also financial. I want the best for us. So I have plans. And I won’t let naysayers cast their doubt on me. I will not say to my sons and my daughter, “Well baby, someone told me I couldn’t do better. That’s why we never had anything.”

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Choosing Not To Breastfeed

I wanted to breastfeed my first. I tried for about a week. See, what happened was… No, really though. I was uneducated on milk supply and how to pump. So I did it all wrong. I’d feed him, then I’d use a manual pump. It hurt, and I wasn’t getting enough milk for him. After a few days, I got cracks in my nipples, then ended up having to give him formula. Even after my nipples healed, I just continued to formula feed him because he was fed and it was so much easier. With my second, I went on medicine right after delivering her and couldn’t breastfeed her because the medicine would be in her milk supply. I didn’t think much about it. I just wanted my baby and I both to be healthy. Now I’m pregnant with my third child and I planned on breastfeeding. During this pregnancy, I was having mental health issues and needed to be on my medication during my second trimester. My doctor told me the baby would be okay, so I started to ask about breastfeeding on my medication. He said that would be fine too. I even went ahead and ordered a breast pump. Started looking up breastfeeding videos on YouTube and joined a couple of breastfeeding support groups on Facebook. Knowing that breast milk is really the best way to feed your baby, I was excited to start and give this baby what he needs and bond with him. Then I started having doubts about if the medication I’d be on would really harm my child, being that there actually isn’t extensive research on it. So at my next doctor appointment, I asked another doctor at the practice that I go to, her opinion. She looked in her medical book and told me that there are reports about my medication making infants lethargic and not getting enough nutrients when mothers breastfed them. When I heard that, I decided I’d better not risk breastfeeding. That I’ll just formula feed. That that would be the best choice for my newborn, myself and my family. She said that there were other medications I could try that wouldn’t transfer to my breast milk supply and the baby would be okay. But I am not willing to try another medication when I’ve been stable with the ones I’ve been taking for around 3 years now. After giving birth, I’d be especially vulnerable. It’s just not worth the risk of the new medication not agreeing with me and having to switch back while recovering from the pregnancy and delivery. I’d be putting my family at risk of me not being okay and having to be hospitalized.

As you can tell, it was a lot for me to consider, but the decision wasn’t really a struggle for me. It was concise. With my first two, I had so many people bully me into breastfeeding. They told me that it would be best for my baby, that there were other medications I could be on. Now I know for sure what’s best for my family and I. If I am not okay, my children won’t be. Not to mention my husband, who has to deal with the situation if I get sick. And find someone to take care of the kids if I need to leave for a couple of weeks to get stabilized. It’s best to learn your own body, to know what’s best for you and your family, to plan ahead, and not to let anyone tell you differently when you know better.

Did I have a little bit of guilt about choosing not to breastfeed? Yes, initially. Especially because it’s what I planned to do. Even going so far as to order the pump through my insurance and do the research so I could be successful this time. My mom exclusively breastfed all eight of us. My siblings and I. So looking up to her, I wanted to do the same for my kids. There are so many women; Doctors, lactation specialists and mothers alike, who like to shame women when they choose to formula feed their children. To me, that’s wrong. Personally, I have had to just give up the idea of having that experience, knowing that I need to think of my family as a whole. If it weren’t for health issues, I’d definitely be giving my baby breast milk. And until you’re in my shoes and have been where I’ve been, you’ve got no right to judge. At 34 weeks pregnant, I am so looking forward to meeting this little guy. I’ve prayed, and prayed. I’ve claimed the promises of God. My husband and I are planning together, making moves for our family. And we are in a good place. The Lord will provide. I choose to trust him with this decision.

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