I know that not all of my motherly endeavors are successful. But I know that my intentions are well spent. When I see the respect and good behavior of my children, I know that I am doing a lot of things right with them. Yes, I have moments of doubt, thinking that something I did, or something about myself is going to mess them up and they’ll need therapy later in life.
There are so many reasons why one could be a ‘bad mother’, and collective reasons why one could be a good mother. Now, let’s get this clear: I do not use the term ‘bad mother’ loosely. I think that if you let your child eat candy or if you let them cause a ruckus in the grocery store with no consequences, you can still be deemed a good mother. On the other hand, if you abuse your children or use drugs, you are a bad mother. Don’t get mad at me. Check yourself.
I know that we all have things we could improve on and none of us are perfect mothers. Maybe I should use the term ‘compromised mother’. I am not trying to offend anyone, but I know that I have had to change a few things about my mothering, and still need to.
My children are fed:
I praise the Lord that there is food in my house. He is our provider. My kids don’t always have what they want to eat, but I try to make sure they are always eating something healthy. Sometimes my oldest will get a bit dramatic and act like he’s throwing up when he tries something new, but I am trying to get the healthy stuff in. But regardless of what, they eat when they are hungry and don’t go without. Thank you, Jesus!
My children are housed
I praise the Lord. We live in a healthy environment that I keep as clean as possible with three littles. They all have a place to lay their heads. Thank you, Jesus!
My children are happy
I thank the Lord that my children laugh and smile regularly, and they are creative and enjoy life. I try to keep the lines of communication open too. I want them to be able to come and talk to me when they need to. And if they need something, they will let me know.
My children are healthy
I praise the Lord! They go to their doctor’s appointments, they take their vitamins, they get their exercise… I know that some mamas’ babies have health problems that are no fault of their own. I am not knocking those moms down. If your child has a health problem and you are not getting it treated, you could be a ‘compromised mom.’ But if your child is healthy, you did things to contribute to that, as a mama. Health is general, but I am talking of physical health here. Make sure you are attentive to the health of your babies.
My children are respectful
Making sure that your child treats others well is important. We don’t have 100 % part in how our children treat others; ultimately they make their own choices and have their own encounters in life. But if your child is respectful and treats others well, there’s a high chance that you did something right at home. Thank you Jesus for teaching me!
My children love the Lord
I know there are different religions and beliefs, but I stand on Jesus (The Word of God) and as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. If your children grow up with knowledge AND love of the Lord and follow in the footsteps of Jesus, you definitely did something right. Most of us go astray, at least for a little while, but as I said, they will make their own choices. But without a doubt, if you train your children in righteousness, they will know the Way their whole lives.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a perfect mother. I have had to step my game up and really seek the Lord to help me grow. I also have an amazing husband who does his part in the house very well. Jesus is my God and I do my best to move toward Him all of the time. I have had to check myself, I have had to overcome fears and mature myself to bring better to my children.
BUT I know I am a good mother because I take care of my kids and they have what they need. I see the fruit of my hands (clasped together in prayer!) in them.
If you just gave birth to your first and you aren’t sure you know what you’re doing yet, hang in there. You’ll learn together. If you just got married and are a new stepmom and he or she is not too fond of you, be patient and stay close to the Lord.
If you’re struggling with mental health issues, be kind to yourself. Know that you are important and your babies need you. If you have to take meds and go to therapy, good for you. Do what you need to do to be present and well as your baby’s mama.
If you have a child with special needs and life is challenging in your household, don’t feel bad if you have to ask for help. Do what you gotta do, mama.
If you’re unsure if your child is doing the right extracurricular activity, talk to them. Pray about it. At least you are trying to make sure your child is socialized and learning.
If you are working several jobs to make ends meet and have barely any help, I commend you, mama. Don’t beat yourself up for not having much time to spend with your children. It will all work out.
If you’re a single mom and have no idea how you make it from day to day, don’t stress, seel the Lord. And be kind to yourself!
God bless you, mama. Let’s give our children the best of us! Let us not forget that making sure our own mental and physical health is good so that we CAN give our children the best of us!