Being Silent Versus An Outgoing Personality

I would describe myself as an introvert. I’m generally quiet and it’s hard for me to make friends and get close to people. This makes me feel awkward in a lot of social situations and I used to completely dislike my personality, wishing I were different. Only like, in the past couple of years have I started to accept being this way. At a women’s Bible study not too long ago, in group discussion I called myself socially awkward and a sister in Christ told me, “No, God made you the way you are and you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” I took that to heart. It’s not like I hadn’t heard that Bible verse time and time again, but to hear it spoken to me directly like that, like my personality isn’t a mistake made a difference.

I sometimes still wish that I were more open, but sometimes it is good to be silent.

Proverbs 29:11 says: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.


Proverbs 10:19 says: When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Being quiet has its advantages. It’s easy to observe other people and assess a situation when you don’t get involved right away. Finding out who and what you’re dealing with before you get involved is a good idea. Also, you can sometimes have the advantage in a conversation if you wait until after everyone has already spoken before you chime in.

On the other hand, it is important at times, to have a boldness that some people have to work at more than others. I know the Lord made me the way I am, but if I could’ve chosen my personality, I would’ve been more outgoing than timid. Nonetheless, the Lord’s grace is sufficient, for His power is made perfect in my weakness! – 2 Corinthians 12:9.

“The Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” – Luke 12:12

This verse in the book of Luke has come alive to me. I can remember numerous times that the Lord has given me the words to minister to a person or a group of people and I couldn’t tell you how I knew just what to say. He gave the words and the boldness to speak at just the right time. I could also tell you of many times I didn’t speak up when I felt like I could’ve given someone a word of truth or encouragement. The majority of the time because I felt awkward or was doubting myself because I felt like I wouldn’t be heard.

Yes, my personality is just more quiet and shy, but “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7. Another version says, “God has not given us a spirit of timidity.”

I think every personality type has its flaws and we all need the grace and strength of God. I believe that staying silent from fear is submission to that spirit, thus, a sin. Particularly when sharing the Gospel is concerned.Us quiet and shy people have to depend on the Holy Spirit for boldness!

So is it better to be outgoing or quiet? Some may say it depends on your social circle or just what situation you may be in. I think that God just made us all the way we are and we all need to depend on Him for something or other. We are all imperfect, weak creatures susceptible to sin, dependent on Him to overcome the pull of our flesh and the world.



  1. Laura Lee says:

    I can’t tell you how much I love this – being able to find scripture that guides us regarding when to speak up and when it’s prudent to stay quiet.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, the Bible can direct us on anything πŸ™‚

    2. Robin says:

      Great post! I think most bloggers are introverts lol blogging gives us an outlet that we dont feel like we can have in public!

      1. Amy Irvin says:

        Yeah, I figured I wasn’t the only one lol

  2. Haley Kelley says:

    Love this post… I sometimes feel as though I am a cross between both.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      You can be πŸ™‚

  3. Lisa Manderino says:

    Good insight. My daughter is so quiet but those scriptures are great!

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  4. I love this post. It’s frustrating sometimes when I’m quiet and people say “what’s wrong?” and there’s nothing, I’m just being quiet.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yup, same thing happens to me.

  5. Sian says:

    It’s great that you are self aware and you have thought about this and are owning it πŸ™‚ I know that I speak up a little too often and I don’t think I’m very good at getting things across, democratically may be the best word. But I’m aware of it an I make a conscious effort to reign it in because I’m concerned I may hurt someone’s feelings. Not intentionally, I just get passionate and I’m probably far too honest sometimes πŸ˜…

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Well, I see you are self aware too lol. We gotta know ourselves and not feel bad about who we are. Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  6. Suzan says:

    Not good or bad…just who you are & who you are is good enough.

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  7. Candy K says:

    We read these verses often. I’m an introvert so the scripture that says God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear resonates with me often.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Same here

  8. judean says:

    A different way to think about it…an introvert keeps a mysterious profile. An outgoing person may be too open and annoying to some. Either way. we all are what we are and we should embrace it!

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, learning to!

  9. paloma says:

    Loved this. I am definitely an introvert, but can be outgoing when needed.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      It’s good to be versatile too

  10. You are exactly who you were created to be!

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  11. Tiffany says:

    Love this! I don’t think one or the other is better necessarily. Maybe better for certain situations, but we are all unique and that’s what makes the world go round!

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  12. Stacey says:

    I’m an Introvert and naturally quiet. I’ve accepted this about myself, but sometimes I pretend to be outgoing. I’m a theatre teacher after all. But when I pretend, it’s pretty draining and I have to plan down time. I’ve learned to like who I am!

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      I used to pretend too. It was awkward. Now I just try to accept that I am a more quiet person. Hard sometimes, since my husband is so outgoing and talks to everyone he sees

  13. Cynthia says:

    This is beautiful! I feel like I am a mix of both but I often feel like there are situations where I am more outgoing where I might need to just take a step back and listen. I loved how you backed up your statements with Scripture. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      You’re welcome. Thanks for your comment.

  14. Heather says:

    I love this so much! I, too, am an introvert and have struggled at times with accepting myself. I love hearing your perspective on how God sees me and my personality. Thank you!

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, of course. You’re welcome πŸ™‚

  15. Kendra says:

    I can relate to this big time! Great verses to reference and reflect on!

  16. I think whether you are outgoing or more reserved, we all can feel socially awkward! I’m glad you’re embracing your natural way of being as well as pushing yourself outside your comfort zone at times!

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  17. Alexandra says:

    Thank you for sharing! love all the proverbs

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      You’re welcome

  18. I think that it is important to be sensitive to the moment. Sometimes we should speak up, and sometimes we should be quiet.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, there is a balance

  19. Tiffany says:

    This could easily describe me! Great perspective!

    1. Amy Irvin says:


  20. Abfew things that you mentioned spoke to me. Thank you for writing this article. I think that it is important to sometimes be quiet and sometimes not. God is so good to love us all as who we are.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, God is good!

  21. Amy says:

    I love the inclusion of the scriptures. I think its a guide in a sense for many people who struggle to find their voice and gives them the strength they need in certain situations. I personally am a complete extrovert but I love to see what the quieter people in the group have to say. Their quietness intrigues me but I also want them to always feel included πŸ™‚

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Yes, God’s word is strength

  22. Lina says:

    I love this post! I am an introvert and like you, it was only in the past recent years that I really embraced it.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      I’m not alone! Lol πŸ™‚ Thanks

  23. I love your post!! Tying scripture into understanding who we are (God made each of us) is an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of our faith.

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Helps a lot!

  24. T.M. Brown says:

    Wise words and such powerful verses to quote! Great reminder, too!!

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      Glad I could help out. Thanks!

  25. Catherine says:

    This post is wonderful! I really needed this today. Thank you for sharing!!

    1. Amy Irvin says:

      You’re welcome. God bless you.

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