“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:6-9 (NIV)
So what happens in the ‘becoming’?
On your wedding day, your spouse and yourself become one, physically and spiritually. When you stand before the Lord and whoever else is in attendance, and say your vows, you then become united as one. Yes, you both still have your own individual needs that you need to communicate to each and learn how to fulfill one for the other. But as a whole, your bodies, your emotions, your finances… your household starts to mold together and become one unit.
That being said, I believe that now, more than ever, the armor of God is important to the husband and the wife, individually. The devil hates marriage. When two come together in a marriage covenant according to the Word of God, your relationship resembles Christ and the Church; “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” – Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV). Don’t think that the forces of evil won’t come against your household! Divorce is almost as common in the church as in the world, and that is a sad fact. “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong and violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore keep watch on your spirit, so that you do not deal treacherously [with your wife].” – Malachi 2:16 (Amplified Version)
The enemy of your soul will do whatever he can to separate yourself and your spouse. Make sure that both of you are submitting to the Holy Spirit, in the study of the Word, united in prayer and working out your salvation with fear and trembling (see Philippians 2:12). I felt so strongly to put the picture of husband and wife as one, as well as the Spiritual Warfare pieces in there. But I digress.
In the days following your marriage, anything can happen. Just as at any other point in time. You can either be celebrating together in bliss, or you can be arguing. It’s up to both spouses to decide. Most, I’d say, are celebrating. In the coming months and years, you will go through things together: Loss of job, new job, going to school, graduating from school, car trouble, new car, joining your bank account, family members getting sick, losing a family member, getting pregnant, the birth of a child, parenting… And the list goes on and on.
Through everything, you two need to work through each circumstance together and work to grow toward each other, rather than apart. It’s so easy to grow apart, but marriage is a relationship and there must be an effort invested on both husband and wife’s part to find out what the others’ needs are, then learn how to meet those needs. Neither partner should be unfulfilled in the marriage.
I believe that everyone is going to go through trials of lack of emotional, sexual or financial needs being met, as well as lack of attention or whatever else the trial may be; When things like this happen, you need to go to God in prayer, then go to the Word in submission. If you are not fulfilling your part in the marriage, it will be harder for your partner to fulfill his or hers. Also, if your spouse is not supplying what you need in the relationship, you need to turn to the Lord for fulfillment, rather than an outside source. Trust the Lord to bring correction in your spouse’s life and watch Him show Himself strong! A lot of the time, you will find that the Lord needs to correct you before correcting your partner!
In all reality, marriage is a beautiful thing. To have a partner in life to grow with, to share your heart with, to hold at night, and to forever hold dear in your heart truly is a gift from the Lord. Just as marriage is a gift, it also is an ongoing ministry. To fulfill your mate’s desires, to pray for them, to be there for them through good and bad, through sickness and in health, parenting children… everything, up until the day one or both of you dies. It should be enjoyed! You should find delight in seeking to please your loved one and help them achieve great things in the Kingdom of God!
To all who have read, I pray blessings over your marriage. If you are single, I pray blessings over you as you wait for the one who the Lord has for you!
I believe I will have upcoming posts about marriage, as the Lord leads! In the meantime, enjoy whatever season you are in. If you are married, rededicate your heart to your spouse. If you are single, delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (see Psalm 37:4)!