Musings Of A Stepmom

“Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.” That’s what I’m trying to tell myself now. But it’s not that easy. When my step daughters don’t listen to me, I take it more personally than when my bio kids don’t listen. In my head, it’s because they just don’t care, rather than it being a parenting fault on my part. When I first became a step mom, I did everything I knew how to do for my oldest step daughter. Though I had never been a parent and made a lot of mistakes with her, I put my heart out there big time. And it hurt, big time. Now, with my youngest step daughter, she’s grown with me. We’ve developed a relationship naturally. I’ve known her since she was two, but I only get to see her about 4 days out of a month. So there’s not much time to be an influence on her. But still, I get frustrated when every time I see her, she has to be told the same things: “Put your dirty clothes in the laundry, not on the floor,” “Throw your trash in the garbage.” and “Please clean up after yourself.” I mean, I don’t expect anyone to be perfect, I’d just like to be respected in my house. So, what to do as someone who’s Mom, but not really? I guess I’m still figuring it out. First and foremost, I must be an example of a godly woman who loves and serves Jesus. So, I figure if I start there as a foundation, I can’t fail. Even when I make mistakes, I am still growing in Christ, therefore, whether they listen to me or not, I did my part. To some who are not step mothers, you may be saying to yourself, “Well, that sounds like any mother to me.” Uh, it’s not the same. Reason being, I have less control and authority than if they were my own. So, I pray for the Lord to help me let that go too. Before I got married, I saw life turning out differently. I never planned on being a step mom, LOL! To be quite honest, I didn’t have much of a plan for my life! But God did! I am happy now, and I thank the Lord. And the “happiness” I have is actually a joy that comes from my relationship with the Lord. Oh, he has blessed me! He’s brought me and my family a long, long way. But in my mind, I know anything can happen in life. But as long as I submit my ways to the Lord, He will have my back, whatever may happen. And I can keep that joy, because He will sustain it. So, living as an example of a godly mother, wife, and servant is possible for me. Something I strive for every day. I pray blessings and life, and health, over my step daughters. If they glean nothing else from me, may they know me as someone who loved God and grew with Him. And may they learn the love of Jesus.

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