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PATIENCE:

the ability to wait for a long time without becoming annoyed or upset
I don’t have the patience to wait in line for hours just to buy a ticket.
Investors need to have patience. The economy will improve soon.
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2: the ability to remain calm and not become annoyed when dealing with problems or with difficult people
She treated her students with great patience and humor.
I don’t have (much) patience for that kind of behavior. = I have little/no patience for that kind of behavior. [=I am not willing to accept that kind of behavior]
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3: the ability to give attention to something for a long time without becoming bored or losing interest
I don’t have the patience to do crossword puzzles. – From the Merriam Webster website.

It’s been a running joke in the Christian community to be careful when praying for patience because the Lord will send you someone or something to test your patience. Patience does often come when going through a difficult situation. You learn to wait without getting upset.

Marriage is the joining together of two lives. Getting to know another person from the inside out and dedicating your whole life to them is no small commitment. Learning to accept that person despite whatever flaw they have or whatever life may bring into your life together is the biggest commitment there is, besides committing one’s life to the Lord.

In getting to know your spouse, there are a lot of flaws you will discover and patience is key to “dealing with” this person for the rest of your life. Patience and learning to love despite the fact that he doesn’t pick his clothes up off the floor or doesn’t put a fresh roll of toilet paper on after it’s finished.

I love my husband. But I have a lot of pet peeves, LOL. There is a saying I don’t like, though. I don’t like it when wives refer to their husbands as an extra child in the house. I think it’s disrespectful. He is your husband and he has to deal with your flaws as well. You should cherish him!

Well, I do want to talk about different ways to learn how to be patient with your spouse.

Patience in cleaning up his messes.

Face it, living in close quarters with anyone, you will be cleaning up your share of messes after them. Some people are more tidy than others, though. If your husband isn’t the nestest person, I don’t think it’s wrong to ask him to pick up after himself more. But please don’t get angry with him if he continues to leave messes. It’s okay to remind him, but don’t nag him about it. This may just cause an argument. I mean, it’s not the worst thing in the world to pick up a pair of dirty socks every now and then or clean a few extra dishes. I was told a true story of a family member whose loved one died and after the funeral, she said she’d do anything to smell his dirty socks in the corner again. An extra small mess here and there isn’t a big deal compared to the joy of having your spouse in your life to love and cherish.

Patience with his finances.

Okay, so fiinancial situations differ from one house to another. Your spouse may be working full time and overtime, still barely making ends meet. Or he may be bringing home big money. Or somewhere in between. If you are both working, good. Two incomes always take some of the burden off your spouse. Whether your the only one working, you’re both working or you stay at home and take care of the kids and /or the house, make peace with your spouse financially. I’m not saying you need to share a bank account. I am not saying you need to account for every purchase to him. But I do believe that couples shouldn’t argue over money. I mean, I’m not going to say never. We all have flaws and needs and in any relationship there is going to be an argument here and there about something. But don’t make money an idoll in your house. Don’t value a paycheck or the bills being paid over the well being of your loved one.

Patience with his sexual desires.

You may want it more than him. He may want it more than you. Maybe you just had a baby and y’all can’t for 6 weeks. Maybe he just had an opertion and can’t for a certain amount of time. Maybe the kids have a good habit of “getting in the way. Whatever the case is with your sex drives, your financal situation or the availability of date nights, make sex a priority. It can get tough as the seasons of life go by. But you need to care about yout spouse’s needs. If he wants it more than you, or visa versa, try sitting down togetherand coming to an agreement that you will have sex on certain days. I don’t think it’s wrong to schedule it! If it seems wrong to you, maybe try somethng else, but make sure you’re not neglecting your marriage bed.

Patience with his spiritual life.

Everybody has their own measure of faith. Your relationship with the Lord is different than The Lord’s relationship with your spouse. But y’all can pray togethet and do Bible study together. If he won’t, pray about it. Maybe he feels like praying with you is baring his soul in front of you and isn’t ready to do that. Maybe you two have different schedules that make it hard to fit prayer and Bible reading together in. But however it has to happen, please at least text verses or prayers to your spouse ’til you can get him on board. All the while, give the burden of your spouse’s spiritual life to the Lord. Grow close to Jesus. Pray your heart out for him. I believe if you show your faithfulness to the Lord in front of your souse and are patient with him, you will get better results than if you nag at him to read his Bible or stop spending time on his hobby to spend more time with the Lord. Be supportive of him and NEVER stop liftinh up in prayer before the Lord.

Patience with his choice of entertainment.

Now, your spouse can have some harmful choices of entertainment or he can maybe just choose a form of entertainment that you don’t like. If it’s harmful (such as porn, strip clubs or horror movies), then confront him and keep it in prayer. Maybe suggest therapy to him or get another couple you both know and respect in on the problem to discuss it. Don’t be afraid to let him know that his harmful entertainment choice offends you or is harming your marriage. If it is a form of entertainmet you just don’t undertand, let him have his time everry so often with whatever it is. Maybe even learn more about it! That could grow your bond with each other. Whatever the case may be, keep your husband’s choice of entertainment in prayer before the Lord. He will benefit from you keeping him covered, and so will your marriage.

I am reminded of the movie War Room. This movie saved my marriage when we were going though rough times. I watched it and immediately began to build a battle plan of prayer, submission and trusting the Lord with my family’s lives. If you haven’t seen it, please go watch it! It’s one of the first Christian movies I’d recommend to someone who’s looking for a good one. Here is the movie, available on Amazon:

There is also a War Room Bible study book, available on Amazon.

Another movie that was really impactful was Fireproof. I also highly recommend you watch that and glean from it. There is also a book to go with it.

The movie:

The book, The Love Dare:

Wherever you are at in your journey of marriage, I pray blessings over you, your spouse, your family and your house. In the name of Jesus!

 

 

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